Self taught artist with confidence issues, hates their own style and wishes she had more motivation. Enjoys screaming about everything. I reblog a lot of random garbage most the time. My most active interests are:
the most life-changing customer i’ve ever had at work was a guy who came up to me and my coworker when we were at cash and said ‘hey kids…. wanna see something?’
and I said sure because why the fuck not, i’m here for a good time not a long time, and this motherfucker pulled a railroad spike out of his pocket.
A GODDAMN
ANTIQUE
RAILROAD
SPIKE
It was a fucking foot long chunk of steel that weighed about five pounds on its own so i was like ‘huh….. neat’
and he said ‘wait. there’s more’ and he took out a screwdriver. inlaid into the head of the spike. ‘things aren’t always as they appear’ he said as he unscrewed the bit and pulled out of this goddamn railroad spike
a statue
a tiny, tiny golden statue stood on the base of this flathead screw. it was a tiny golden man standing next to a tiny golden flower with gemstones in the petals. the whole thing was smaller than my thumbnail is tall. it was detailed enough that the tiny man had facial features. it was amazing.
‘oh my god,’ i said. ‘how long did it take you to make that?’
‘here’s a word of advice,’ he said, ‘never answer that question when people ask it. it devalues your work. you’ll get faster and better at things, and be able to make more art in less time. they don’t need to know about the process, just the product’.
and he left and that’s the one artistic piece of advice i definitely wanna hold to.
don’t tell people how long it takes to make shit.
I’d like to add this corollary: don’t tell people, but DO keep track of how long it takes you to make shit, because your time is valuable, even when you’re still learning, and you need to be able to say “no, fuck you, pay me” when people try to devalue your time.
2015: glitch that basically let people fuck with post formatting and everything looked like this
2018: staff ignored the spambot problem for like years at this point and the app was removed from the app store as a result of the site being absolutely fucking laden with spambots, which finally motivated them to do something about it, resulting in a hastily made protocol to detect bots utterly failing and deleting half of the sites userbase
You see it among the trees. A shadow moving silently through the forest. As it comes closer you realize its a big stag. A stunning creature, a true king of the wild. You cant take your eyes of off it. How lucky you are to have come this way altho the game warden told you not to venture out on your own. You smile as you watch the animal get even closer. You blink your eyes. You blink again. Something… is off. The yellow-white face on a otherwise dark body. The way its head is twitching. And how the crown of antlers seem to move in strange patterns. You furrow your brow but before your next line of thoughts take hold of your mind the animal sees you. And it change. From the ragged body a pair of long arms unfold. Hands with thinn, sharp fingers are placed firmly on the ground, one on each side of its body, and with a heave it rise its upperbody and front hooves in the air, standing even taller on hind legs and long arms potruding from the withers. It throws back its head and screams, one hollow, dislocated sound, and then it rush towards you, six limbs giving it speed like no other animal. You dont even get a chance to take one single step before its upon you, empty blackness greeting you from the eye sockets of a grinning skull, ten arms outstreched and hands reaching.
———–
This guy is completely handmade and original, ooak (one of a kind) and my own take on the mythical wendigo. He is fully posable, even the antlers/hands and every finger on all the 10 hands are, as is his jaw. Face, feet, ears and antlers are sculpted with lots of details and then painted and sealed. The body is made with high quality faux fur that Ive trimmed and he glow in the dark - his antlers, eye sockets, 2 long arms, mark on the forehead and teeth all glow for several hours. There will never be another one like him.
I dreamt that I enrolled in a psychology class but the professor spent the first lecture doing nothing but clicking through a slideshow of photos of beautiful landscapes with C-3PO edited into them, then explaining that adding C-3PO to otherwise serious situations ruined humans’ ability to take them seriously. When we all started laughing at what a pointless lecture this was, she glared at us and announced that our laughter had proved her point.
Then she assigned us our homework - go to funerals and show people sad pictures of the deceased with C-3PO photoshopped in. If they laughed, it meant their ability to feel humor was stronger than their ability to feel grief.
I thought, ‘oh my god my professor is a robot with absolutely no idea how human psychology works’ so I decided to stay in the class and help her figure it out by writing explanations in my essays that would offer nuance and context.
“And now class, I want you to examine the following image.”
“Beautiful, isn’t it? This shot of the Bolivian salt flats is absolutely breathtaking and meets all human standards of ‘beauty’. The warm hues of the clouds contrast pleasantly with the deep azure of the sky, and the perfect mirroring in the water suggests an almost mystical purity. The human brain is nearly overcome with wonder at the natural optical illusion. However, I have photoshopped C-3PO into the image, replacing the boat in the original photo. You all laugh! It is no longer a beautiful photo, but a comical one, because no one respects C-3PO. You see him as a fool, and thus the picture becomes comical! Human brains prioritize humor to the exclusion of all else. Now, I want you all to go out and absolutely ruin some funerals tomorrow.”
